Cleromancy— A Father’s Guide
- Corey Landon Wozniak
- Apr 1
- 1 min read
“Cleromancy— A Father’s Guide” (Dueteronomy 18:9-14)
The baby spits up on your white dress shirt:
If the spit up is WHITE & shaped like A DOVE WITH AN OLIVE BRANCH then DON’T TRUST YOUR MECHANIC.
If the spit up is WHITE & shaped like JACOB WRESTLING THE ANGEL then YOU SHALL HAVE KIDNEY STONES.
If the spit up is WHITE & shaped like THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE, then LAY OFF ENERGY DRINKS FOR A WHILE.
If the spit up is YELLOW & shaped like SIX-WINGED SERAPHIM then AVOID LARGE BODIES OF WATER.
If the spit up is YELLOW & shaped like ARK OF THE COVENANT then EAT LESS MEAT.
If the spit up is GREEN & shaped like THE DESTROYING ANGEL then BRING FORWARD A BULL FROM THE HERD AS AN OFFENSE OFFERING.
About the Author
Corey Landon Wozniak lives with his wife and two sons in Las Vegas, Nevada, where he teaches English and Comparative Religions at a public high school. An avid writer, his essays have appeared in The Revealer and Public Square Magazine.
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